Tonight, I am on a date with God. I am a little nervous about if I look alright, what He thinks of me and if He will approve. I am even more anxious about if He’ll notice all the little mistakes I make- cause knowing me I’ll trip or fall, or definitely spill something. But as soon I sat down (and if I’m not mistaken, He pulled the chair out for me, what a gentleman!), we began to talk. Starting with small talk of course, “How are you?” “How was your day?” “Is it too warm in here?” I told Him everything was perfect. He told me how pretty I looked this evening and remarked that I have charm, the kind that most characterizes Southern Belles. I blushed. And slowly and tension started to subside.
I was feeling more and more comfortable, although everything was so sudden about this night. I still didn’t know what to expect, and He was trying to get me to let my guard down- to let Him know more about me, beyond the dress and the hair and all the smiles and laughs. It was difficult; this was something I was not accustomed to. Talking with God, and knowing that I was finally safe, made me not want to become so vulnerable, even in safety. I did not want to be exposed to my own picture of imperfections, while trying to be charming and pretty with good posture and a smile- as all Southern Belles must have at all times of course. I felt silly and wondered why I had even come. I am surely not the girl He meant to spend tonight with. Surely He thought He would find someone else. Someone willing to participate without fear to the kind of relationship He wanted to take from here. Not me. Most definitely not me, He has no idea what sorts of trouble He is getting himself into if he is serious about me. Well, we aren’t even past the salads, and I am already ready to leave. I want to run to the door as quickly as I can, because this is definitely not what I had expected. Is it getting warmer in here or is it just me? I wanted to return to talking about the day, our beloved friends, I wanted to the subject to go back to talking about all the sick and poor, and what we can do about it, I wanted to go back to talking about the plans for next week, what an awesome God He is, and what a beautiful sunset I had seen only hours before… But I still sat there with my God, my Father, my Dad. He was just waiting for me, just waiting till I was ready, the absolute essence of patience, and I could see that He wasn’t just waiting through the few minutes of my frantic mind racing, He wasn’t just waiting to see if I would stay for the entrée or if I would jet out at the first opportunity. From what I could see, He had been waiting quite a while, He was waiting, with eyes that told me I was beautiful (even I didn’t think so). He was waiting with a smile that told me He wasn’t lying when He had said He was delighted to be here tonight. He had been waiting patiently for quite a while, just for a moment to sit down with me, just for a moment to let me know that I have nothing to be afraid of, He wasn’t going anywhere. Even if I decided that this isn’t the type of relationship I’m looking for, He was ready to pursue me. He was ready to capture my heart with full force that would knock me head over heels in Love with a Man ready to sacrifice everything just to have me with Him tonight. God was waiting patiently, regardless if I wanted to jump up and flee, He was ready to jump up and follow.
So, as I continue through the evening, sitting alone in my bedroom, looking like I am dressed with somewhere to go, I am still sitting face-to- face with my date for this evening: God, the perfect gentleman, with the sweetest things to say, and promises to keep. Knowing my past, my present form (literally, as I am dolled up, I “present” myself- dress, hair, and a bow on top- the whole “package”) and the future entails: where I am headed, what I want and what He wants. He knows what past relationships I’ve had, the regrets and the mistakes, He knows the desires I have to not screw everything up and have my head on straight. But still, He makes it known to me that He has had His eye on me for quite a while now, and concludes that, according to what He sees now, we would be a pretty great match. Which made me understand what tonight was really about. Thinking to myself (which God could hear anyway), this night was about seeing sparks for the first time, a new way of being with my Heavenly Father. He’s told me a million times how much He loves me, How much He wishes to spend time with me, and how beautiful I am, and how precious my fragile heart is in His tender hands. And tonight for sure, He melted my heart right in the hollow of His hand. How good it feels to be a daughter of this astounding God! Taking the time to make Kodak-worthy moments with His children! I remember one time, I was in middle school and everyone could tell how cool you were by who you dated, who “liked” you, and who your boyfriend was. Well, I was talking to one of my friends who telling me about the stipulations her parents put on dating/boyfriends/etc. She said that she was technically “allowed to date” and free to date whomever she chooses, as long as her dad was her very first date. Back then, I thought about how awkward it would be to have to go out looking nice and formal, just to grab a bite to eat with your dad. What would that be like? Knowing that your first date wasn’t with prince charming, the man of your dreams, or your knight in shining armor, but with good ol’ dad. That was NOT the storybook fairytale I wish would play out in my life.
But tonight, as I sit here with my heavenly Father, knowing that the past doesn’t matter and I have everything to look forward to, I felt new. I could begin freedom with a sense that I have my best friend, the sweetest gentleman, the kindest prince in all the land (and sea and space and universe), and date here tonight that has waited longer than I could comprehend for a moment to take my hand and ask me to dance. And we’ll dance and dance and dance the dance of Love, Purity, Renewal and Peace.
